Teardrops on my guitar
by That girl16
Summary: But I couldn’t stop loving him. Because to stop loving him would be like to stop breathing. The world wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t love Tom.' Based on Taylor Swift, Teardrops on my guitar. Reviews please?:D
1. Chapter 1

Hey there guys. So here is the first chapter to my new fic. Met this boy is still gonna be my main one but I thought that this could be my thing on the side. I actually really like Taylor Swift, even though her music isn't normally my thing. And when I heard Teardrops on my guitar on the radio the other day I thought that that could be a good idea for a fic and I could involve McFLY in it. So here it is. Chapter one. Hope you like it!! Love Charl :D xxxxxx

Chapter One – 

"Harry put me down!" I squealed as my older cousin picked me up in his strong arms and threw me over his shoulder.

He shook his head, laughing.

I started to panic. "Seriously Harry I'm wearing a skirt and I'd rather Danny and Dougie didn't see my underwear"

Dougie instantly started staring at me. He is such a perv.

Still, I love him. He's like a brother to me as is Danny. And although Harry is my cousin there is a sort of sibling love between us.

He set me back on my feet and ruffled my chin length red hair.

I ducked out of his reach. "Honestly I'm twenty two. I'm not a toddler!" I said pocking me tongue out at him.

He did the same back to me while crossing his eyes at the same time.

"Very attractive Harry. You'll certainly pull looking like that!" came a cheerful voice from behind us.

My stomach dropped to my toes and my heart skipped a beat as I recognised the voice.

Turning I saw Tom walk casually towards us.

_Tom looks at me,_

_I fake a smile so he won't see,_

_that I want and I need, _

_everything that we should be._

"Hey Delilah. Have you had your hair cut? Looks nice." Tom smiled at me. It's so like him to notice things like my hair. Most guys wouldn't have noticed you'd had your hair cut until you were completely bald. And that's the very bright ones!

I blushed scarlet as Tom's happy, chocolate brown eyes penetrated mine.

As I started into them I couldn't help but think back to the first time that I met him. All of those years ago.

Six years earlier………

"Delilah sweetie. Could you help me put this banner up please?"

"Yeah sure Auntie Emma"

It was my cousin Harry's seventeenth birthday party. The first birthday that he had had since joining his band McFLY.

I was sixteen.

I helped my Auntie Emma, Harry's Mum, put a large banner up across the west side of the room inscribed with the words 'Happy Seventeenth Birthday Harry!'

I was excited.

This was going to be the first time that I got to meet Harry's band mates.

I was sure that they were gonna be as great as he was.

Me and Harry were very close, I'd missed him since hed joined his band and moved to London from Essex where we lived. As I didn't have any brothers or sisters him and my other two cousins, Harry's brother and sister, Thomas and Katherine had had to make up for it.

I smiled as I remembered back to when I was about five and Harry was seven. I'd made him play with me in my wendy house all day, having a pretend tea party. Disturbingly enough Harry seemed to enjoy it more than me. But he had made me swear a solid oath not to tell anyone about it ever.

My Mum ran into the room. "Shhhh every one. He's here!"

We all stayed quiet as mice.

As we were silent we could hear voices approaching us.

As Harry and three other boys walked into Harry's Mums packed living room we all shouted "SURPRISE!"

Harry didn't actually seem too surprised but then knowing him he had probably already found out about the party.

I couldn't get to Harry through the enormous crowd of people congregating around him wanting to give him birthday congratulations. I knew that there was no hope of getting to him.

I sniggered as Great-Aunt Ethel planted a large kiss on his cheek but backed away just in case she went for me next.

Like try and kiss me or tell me how much ive grown since I last saw her last week or tell me how skinny me ankles are or something.

I also spotted my uncle Trevor across the room looking like he was about to come over and talk to me.

I retreated into a corner. I wasn't in the mood for my uncle's famous ginger jokes.

I got a drink of coke and sat on the bottom of the stairs. On my own.

I hadn't been allowed to invite any of my friends as the party had to be strictly family only. Of course that rule didn't apply to the birthday boy.

I didn't mind my friends being banished too much.

Harry had always been my best friend.

"Delilah" I looked up. It was Harry. "Delilah, meet the rest of my band mates. This is Danny, Dougie and Tom. Guys this is my cousin Delilah."

The first boy that he gestured at was dark haired and had bright intense blue eyes. He also had freckles. A few on his face and hundreds dotted all over his arms. He had a cheeky mischievous look about him but I got the feeling that he was a nice boy who you could easily have a laugh with. He was very attractive and I could see several girls in the room eyeing him up and down.

The second boy was smaller, slighter with light hair and ear piercing. He seemed a lot quieter than the first boy, Danny, but there was a sort of glint I his eye which gave me the impression that maybe he might not be as shy as people thought. Like the first boy he was very attractive and seemed to have his fair share of girls staring at him.

My eyes flickered to the third boy.

And my gaze held.

And held.

The boy, I think Harry said his name was Tom, smiled at me, showing one dimple in his left cheek. His hair was a light blonde and gelled into careful spikes. He had intense chocolate brown coloured eyes and intelligent, happy, fun-loving aura about him. Like the others he was attractive only more so. I'd never seen any boy like him.

And that's when I totally fell for Tom Fletcher.

I looked up at the present Tom, comparing him to the seventeen year old of my memories.

There were a few noticeable changes to his appearance.

He was taller and I couldn't help hut notice, honestly officer, that his body was a lot more toned and muscular.

His hair was longer and no longer spiked and was a more natural blonde colour now.

He had changed on the inside too.

He was more mature, less naive. But I think that he was still a kid underneath.

And for all of the changed he was still the same Tom.

The same warm loving, kind, generous, fun-loving Tom.

Still a hyperactive as a child on jelly beans.

The same Tom that I loved with all of my heart and knew that I always would no matter what.

As he held my gaze for a couple of seconds longer. I smiled at him. Attempting to hide what I really felt for him.

He turned his gaze away from me and addressed all of us.

"Hey guys guess what!" he said.

"What?" asked Danny lazily

"Guess who I got another date with?" he grinned.

Danny sat up, interested.

"Who?" him and Dougie asked at the same time.

Harry glanced at me seeing that I was frozen. I have never told him how deep my feelings go for Tom but I think that he guessed something. He knew me so well.

I was holding my breath. I could feel my face going red.

"Cassie" Tom said proudly.

My breath came out in a wild gasp. I couldn't hear anything but the frantic throbbing of my heart, beating twice as fast as usual.

I had to blink fiercely to stop my tears.

I had to swallow hard to get rid of the lump in my throat which was stopping me from breathing.

"Excuse me" I managed to choke.

Getting up and making my way into the house. I locked my self into the bathroom so that I wouldn't have to see _him._

The perfect world that I had created for me and Tom had been ripped and shattered until there was nothing left. Just me.

Just me.


	2. Chapter 2

Here is chapter two. Hope you all enjoy it!! Love Charl :D xxxxxx

Chapter Two – 

This was it. My life was officially over. No more pretending anymore. Time to finally face the music. He had a girlfriend. Cassie.

_I'll bet she's beautiful,_

_That girl he talks about,_

_And she's got everything,_

_That I have to live without._

Even her name sounded glamorous to me.

My eyes filled with tears. I bet that she was gorgeous. The way that he spoke about her made that obvious. She would be way more attractive than me. She would have everything that I wouldn't. I couldn't compete with that. What was the point in trying?

Everything that I had ever lived for. Lay in ruins at my feet.

But I couldn't stop loving him.

Because to stop loving him would be like to stop breathing. The world wouldn't be the same if I didn't love Tom.

I wiped my eyes quickly and unlocked the bathroom door. Opening it I listened carefully.

I could hear the guys laughing outside. I could pick out Toms laugh out of all of them; I would be able to pick out Toms laugh from a huge crowd of people.

I slowly crept up the stairs and into my room.

The only real solace a girl can get is from her bed. I lay down on my blue quilt, the tears coming thick and fast.

There was a sort of pain in my chest but I couldn't work out what was behind it. It was suffocating.

I reached for my acoustic guitar on its stand by my bed. Smiling slightly I quietly strummed the strings, playing a random tune.

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,_

_The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star,_

_He's the song in the car,_

_I keep singing,_

_Don't know why I do._

I suddenly realised that the tune that I was playing was one of McFLY's. From the acoustic version of 'The End'.

I can remember them playing the song on stage. All of the guys were really good but Tom was amazing. When he played. When he sang, I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. Thinking back to then was painful. I was so full of hope back then, for me and Tom.

But now I didn't have any hope. I didn't have anything.

My tears started dripping onto the dark wood of my guitar.

Crying on my guitar. How clique. But now I was past caring.

I fell asleep still holding the guitar. It almost felt like I was cradling Tom. The tears still streaked my face.

I woke up some time later. Someone had put the guitar back onto its stand and had slung a blanket over my body. Must have been Harry.

I didn't feel tired anymore. Ever nerve in my body was buzzing. I got up and walked over to the window. There wasn't much to see out of it. Just dark houses and even darker streets. I looked up at the stars. A huge one was directly in front of me. I a very corny but desperate act I closed by eyes and wished.

***I wish that somehow me and Tom can be together***

I held my breath, wishing so hard that my head hurt. I let my breath out slowly. I was slightly more satisfied.

I walked back to my bed. Now that I was calmer I felt tired enough to sleep. I lay down, closed by eyes and soon I was under.

When I next woke up it was morning. I sat up groggily looking blearily at my alarm clock. It was 11:30. Holy crap! This was late for me.

I stumbled down stairs. Danny and Dougie surprisingly were already up.

Dougie had his head in the fridge.

"We've got no milk left. Sorry, we forgot to get the shopping yesterday" Danny said apologetically.

"Its ok. I'll go get some now if you like" I said.

"Nah its fine. Me and Dougie will go wont we Doug?"

Dougie looked like he wanted to disagree but he nodded half heartedly.

I couldn't not laugh at the expression in his face.

"Really its ok I don't mind" I insisted. And I didn't. I had often been doing the food shopping recently. Ever since I finished university and moved in with Harry and the guys.

I went and changed, grabbed my car keys and left.

I finished the shopping quickly, wanting to get home quickly as I was starving hungry. I loaded the shopping into my car.

Getting in I turned the ignition on as the radio turned its self on automatically. A song by 'The Fray' was just finishing.

As I drove out of the car park a new song started playing.

My insides froze as I recognised it.

It was 'She falls asleep'. The song that Tom wrote and performed by himself on McFLY's second album Wonderland.

I loved this song. The lyrics were so perfect, so beautiful. It couldn't have been written by anyone but Tom.

As the sound of his sweet voice filled the car I couldn't help but sing a lot to it softly.

It was at one specific line in the song that I stopped. The words forcing me into silence.

"_Please save me, I've been waiting, been aching far too long"_

I'd never before realised how much those words apply to me.

I didn't know that I was crying until the sobs were shaking me so badly that I could hardly drive. Mercifully I made it home.

I parked outside the house and gave my self a few minutes to compose my self.

I grabbed the shopping and headed inside.

As I passed him I saw Danny eyeing me, concerned about my blotchy face and the moisture in my eyes.

I ignored him, unloaded the shopping, made some cereal and went back up to my room.

I stayed there for a while, not wanting the guys to see me in such a mess. Especially Tom.

When I was sure that I looked presentable I slowly went back downstairs.

Harry, Danny and Dougie were sitting watching some football thing. Well Harry and Danny were watching it. Dougie was staring into space. I knew that he wasn't keen on football.

Tom wasn't there.

Danny was the only one look up as I entered the room. He smiled kindly at me before turning back to the TV.

"Anyone wanna cup of tea" I asked trying to sound cheery.

Three "yes pleases" answered my question.

I frowned. It should have been four answers. Where was Tom?

I walked into the kitchen, filled the kettle with water and switched it on. As I started to organise some mugs Harry walked into the room.

"Hey" he said, keeping his voice low. "You ok? You seem a bit down"

I tried to smile. "Yeah I'm fine thanks."

Harry didn't look convinced but he let it go for now. He nodded and started walking back towards the living room.

"Oh and thanks for the blanket last night." I added.

He stopped and frowned. "What blanket?"

I was confused. "You didn't put the blanket on me last night?" I asked.

"No. I checked on you but I didn't put a blanket on you. Must have been one of the guys" he shrugged and went back to his beloved football.

I though about it.

It must have been either Danny or Dougie. Must have been.

It couldn't have been…….

Just the mere thought of Tom being in my room last night checking on me made my stomach sort of hiccup.

Then I told myself off. It wouldn't have been Tom. It would have been either Danny or Dougie.

And even if it had been Tom then it would have been through a natural act of kindness, not because I meant anything to him.

It would be just because he was

…….Tom.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three – 

I lay on my bed and put my head phones on.

Turning on my ipod I put the first song on that I came too. I didn't care what it was.

Just as long as it wasn't McFLY!

'Know your enemy',Greenday. Perfect.

I turned the volume up as loud as it would go. So loud that I couldn't hear myself think. That was the point. To make all thought impossible and to rid myself of the misery. At least for now.

I closed my eyes and thought of the song. I didn't hear or see anyone enter my room but I felt my bed move slightly as someone gently sat down on it.

My eyes flashed open and then widened in shock. It was Tom! Sitting on my bed, looking more like an angel than anyone had the right too.

My shaky hands pressed pause. Halting the sound.

"Hey" Tom said.

I couldn't say anything. I just sort of gawped at him like some sort of goldfish.

_Tom talks to me,_

_I laugh cos it's so damn funny,_

_That I cant even see,_

_Anyone when he's with me._

"Just came in here to see how you are. Harry said that you seemed a bit upset about something." Tom's voice was soft with concern. It made me melt.

"N-no I'm fine thanks, just time of the month thing you know."

I grimaced. Why did I say that? He didn't want and didn't have to hear about my girly problems.

But he nodded and tried to look like he understood.

As I looked into his eyes time seemed to stop. It was just me and Tom. No one else. The world could have come to an end and I wouldn't have noticed.

He cleared his throat.

"There was actually something that I wanted to talk to you about" he said.

_He says he's so in love,_

_He's finally got it right,_

_I wonder if he knows._

_He's all I think about at night._

"Well you know, you being a girl, I can talk to you about stuff that I cant talk to the guys about"

I wondered where this was going. What could Tom possibly want to talk to me about that he couldn't talk about with the guys?

"It's about…Cassie" he said.

"Oh" I whispered.

"It's just that we've known each other for about a year now and…."

I interrupted him. "Hand on a year? I thought that you only went on your second date with her last night!" I frowned.

"Yeah I know but I knew her before we started dating. Though that's not really the point. The point is I think, I think I love her."

There was a silence as what Tom had said sank slowly into my head.

He loved her?

Then I sighed. I guess that deep down I saw this coming, had been expecting this. I couldn't doubt the adoration in his eyes when he spoke of her.

I had to bite my lip to stop it from trembling. When I was sure that that I could talk without my voice shaking I smiled.

"That's great. I'm really happy for you Tom"

I hoped that my face looked more sincere than my voice sounded.

Tom beamed at me. "Yeah isn't it? I never knew that love could feel like this. I mean, I've had strong feelings for girls but it's never felt this right….."

Tom babbled on happily but I couldn't properly concentrate on what he was saying.

I saw his lips move but I heard no sound.

The pain on my chest was worse, so bad that I could hardly breath. I closed my eyes. I just felt like crawling up in a corner and dying!

Then I felt anger. Why was he doing this to me? He must know how I feel about him.

Even Harry had noticed, and lets be honest people, he isn't the most observant person in the world.

I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my palms. I ground my teeth together.

"Delilah? Are you ok?" I heard Tom ask me. But he sounded so far away, like he was talking to me from a distance.

"Delilah?" he sounded nearer now. He gently shook my arm.

I opened my eyes. As I looked at Tom's worried face I felt all of my anger just ebb away.

"Are you ok? You looked like you were in pain" Tom said.

"No I'm fine; I'm fine just got a bit of a headache. I smiled shakily.

Tom smiled back and hugged me. "I love you too you know Delilah, not in the same way but like you're my little sister" He ruffled my hair, why do people do that? And then headed for the door.

He was half way through when the turned back to me.

"Oh yeah I nearly forgot. Cassie is having a party at her house tomorrow night. The guys are going and I wondered of you wanted to go too?" he asked.

I didn't really want to go. I'd have to actually see him and Cassie together and that would hurt too much.

But then _Tom _had asked me. I could never say no to Tom.

"Yeah ok that would be great" I tried too look enthusiastic.

Tom grinned and walked out of my room, shutting the door behind him.

As soon as he was gone I buried my head in my pillow and sobbed my heart out.

Tom's words were still ringing in my ears.

"_I love you too you know Delilah, not in the same way but like you're my little sister"_

He loved me, but not the way that I wanted him too.

Not the way that he loved Cassie.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four – 

Pushing past a couple locked in a fierce embrace by the door I stumbled into the living room.

The music was too loud, the sound of the drum and base making my ears ring. No one else seemed to notice. Some danced, moving their bodies to the rhythm of the pumping beat. There were couples dotted all around the room shaping themselves inappropriately around each other. God I sound like my Mother, but there are some things that we really don't wanna see.

I pouted, where the hell was Harry? I'd seen him not long ago with his girlfriend Izzy. I was gonna make him pay for leaving me on my own with a bunch of strangers. And Dougie. Though he was so drunk he practically was a stranger. He called me Lucy earlier on. I hadn't the remotest idea who he was talking about. Examining the faces of the crowd I spotted him, dancing wildly on his own.

I sniggered causing the couple on the sofa that I stood next to pull apart from each other and stare at me oddly. I smiled sheepishly and ducked into the dining room, desperately combing the room for a sight of Harry.

I turned as I heard someone call me name.

I was Tom with his arm around a girl. "Hey Tom, have you seen Harry?" I asked him.

"No sorry but Delilah meet Cassie, Cassie this is Delilah Harry's cousin"

My eyes focussed on Cassie and my heart sank.

She was exacularly how I imagined her, only more so.

Her hair was fair and ran just past her shoulders. Poker straight She had large blue eyes framed my perfectly curled long eye lashes. She was skinny but with just the right amount of curviness. She was fairly tall, shorter than Tom but taller than me with very long legs that she showed off with her short skirt.

She was gorgeous. Of course she was.

Cassie smiled dazzlingly at me.

"So you're Delilah? I've been waiting to meet you for ages. Tom never stops talking about you. You're his special little friend."

God she's so patronising. Stupid cow bag.

'Tom's special little friend' Does she not realise I'm only a year younger than her?

But I smiled in what I hoped was a friendly way, though I was resisting the temptation to deck her right at this minute.

"It's lovely to meet you" I said.

She simpered at me, soppy git, and turned to Tom.

"C'mon baby lets go dance." She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the living room.

I watched them go, my eyes sad. He seemed to really care for her.

Though why is a complete mystery to me.

As is watched them dance I felt anger surge through me. Like yesterday. Well sod him. Sod the both of them.

I turned my back on them defiantly and approached the table which was loaded with alcohol.

I don't drink very often, and when I did it wasn't very much but I suddenly wanted to get drunk. Like drunk drunk.

So much that I wouldn't remember who I was. So much that tomorrow I wouldn't remember anything of tonight.

I picked up a vodka and raised it to my lips.

**Six drinks later – **

I smiled as the dark blonde haired guy put something in my hand and whispered in my ear " Call me baby" before winking at me and leaving the room. I looked at the piece of paper in my hand.

His number wow! Fifth so far.

I stumbled woozily out of the bathroom where me and the guy had been kissing. I walked down the stairs and into the living room.

The party was still going strong!

Though she was a total bitch, Cassie still knew how to throw a good party!

I went back to the place where I had been dancing before, mingling with the drunken dancers.

In my own drunken state I tripped over someone's foot. Luckily someone was there to catch me. I looked up at them, smiling.

It was Danny.

"Watch your self there" he grinned.

"Danny! Danny! I'm so happy to see you!" I sang hugging him.

"You are?" he asked.

"Of course I am Danny. My Danny boy! You are my bestest friend! Why wouldn't I be happy to see you? I love ya Danny boy!"

He raised his eyebrows but couldn't help laughing.

"Your completely wasted aren't you? C'mon girl lets get you outside. You look like you need some fresh air." He pulled me along as I clung to him, giggling madly.

Danny opened the back door and we both stepped outside.

The cool night air felt nice on my hot face. It sobered me up a little bit.

He sat down on a bench and pulled me down next to him.

"So how many have you actually had?" he asked me.

"Dunno bout five or six maybe more" I said, not sounding as drunk as I did earlier on due to the fresh air. "You?" I added.

"Probably about the same" he answered.

He didn't seem that drunk to me. Not as much as me anyway, though he was probably more used to alcohol than I was.

"So what do you think of Tom's girlfriend?" I asked.

He shrugged and pulled a face.

"Not keen eh?" I was relieved. It wasn't just me that didn't like her. Though I expect Danny's reasons were different to mine. Dear God I really hoped they were!

"No, she's too much like a Barbie doll. Plus she reminds me of my ex girlfriend." He whispered and then shuddered.

"Yeah I don't think much of her either"

We both sighed.

"So have any guys caught your eye tonight?" he asked controversially.

"Nah not really. I got a few guys numbers but nothing serious. How about you?"

He grinned. "Yeah I got a few guys numbers too, but like you nothing too serious!"

I lightly smacked his arm "You know what I mean!"

He was immediately serious. "Well I suppose that one girl caught my eye"

"Ooooh who's this mystery girl then? Do I know her?" I asked interested.

"Yeah you do actually" he answered.

I frowned as I though it through.

Hang on I don't know many girls here. I knew Cassie, and Danny had already said that he doesn't like her. And I knew Izzy but I knew that Danny would never fancy Harry's girlfriend. At least he wouldn't admit it.

My eyes widened as I realised what that meant. I looked at him shocked. I stood up.

His own eyes widened as he realised what he had said.

"Dan…" I started.

"No no don't say anything. Please. I know that you probably don't feel the same way about me but please don't say it. J-just forget that I said anything." He whispered the last word. "Please?"

"Danny, I like you. You know that I do" I whispered. "It's just…."

I didn't get any further.

Grabbing me by the wrist Danny pulled my body towards his. His other hand cupped my face as he pressed his lips against mine. The sober side of me was shouting in my head "NO! No no no no no no no no no!" The completely wasted side of me wanted him. Wanted this to happen. This side liked the feel of his soft lips on mine and the smoothness of his palm against my cheek. The two sides of me fought for dominance. The fight lasted about half a second. Guess which side won? I put my arms around Danny's neck, securing his lips to mine. He began to kiss me harder, fiercer, more passionately as his hands moved relentlessly over my body. The sober side of me wanted to push him away. To slap him. The pissed side of me wanted to be in a bed with him right there and then. I pulled him closer as out kiss intensified. Maybe I can take him upstairs?

Suddenly I thought of Tom. What would it be like to kiss Tom this way?

As Tom entered my thoughts, I froze. This wasn't right, not fair. Kissing Danny like this. I didn't feel the same way abut him as he did about me. It was just plain bitchy to raise his hopes like this.

Also….he wasn't Tom!

Danny pulled back from me slightly confusion plain on his face.

"Oh shit Danny, I'm so sorry! This isn't right. I don't, I can't feel the same way about you" I pulled my self out of his arms.

His face was no longer confused. It was shocked and….. hurt. I've hurt him!

He reached his hand out towards me. "Delilah. Please don't" he trailed off, his voice cracking.

"I'm so sorry" I whispered. And I ran back into the house.

Pushing through the swarms of drunken people, just like me, I struggled through the living room and into the hall.

I opened the front door and ran out into the dark.

Luckily we only lived a few streets away. Luckily Harry had given me a house key.

I ran all the way back to the house. I let myself in, ran up the stairs, into my bedroom and dived onto my bed. I seemed to be spending a lot of time here.

The tears began to leak down my cheeks but they weren't tears of sadness.

They were tears of guilt after what I had done to my friend Danny Jones.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five – 

I woke up the next morning still in the same clothes that I wore last night; my short blue dress was creased. My face felt slightly stiff as I had fallen asleep last night with the tears still streaming down my cheeks.

I sat up and then immediately fell back down. My head was pounding so hard that I felt dizzy, I groaned, massaging my forehead with the palm of my hand. I felt bloody terrible; like I'd just done three rounds with Joe Calzaghe. What the hell _happened_ last night?

I frowned, trying to recollect last nights events through my scattered thoughts. I remember getting drunk. Very drunk. Though my hangover was enough proof of that. I vaguely remember kissing a few guys, and for some reason dancing on a table top.

And I remember Cassie. I winced as I recalled her, her flawless beauty and the obvious devotion that Tom felt for her. But there was something else...

I sat bolt upright, ignoring the rush of dizziness and the pain in my head. I didn't, oh please tell me I didn't.

_Please _tell me that I didn't kiss Danny last night!

I suddenly remembered it perfectly. Danny had told me how he felt about me. We'd kissed but I'd pulled away from him .I could still remember the look of pain that crossed his face when I told him that I don't feel the same way about him.

Would he be angry with me? Hurt? I'd be able to face his anger; it's only what I deserved. But I wouldn't be able to handle his pain, handle him hurting. Because of me.

Although I didn't feel the same way about him I still cared about him. A lot. Like he was my brother. I wish he was then this would never have happened. Then Danny would be happy with someone else. And I wish that I could be with Tom, and then I would be happy.

But I wasn't happy; and now, because of me Danny wasn't either.

But at least Tom was. He's found the girl that he wanted without any complications. I could deal with my pain, just as long as Tom was happy.

But I had to talk to Danny, to tell him how sorry I am; go down on my knees and beg him to forgive me if I had to. He'd find another girl to concentrate on soon, he changed his girl as often as he changed his underwear! I'm sure that this is just a passing crush. Nothing more than that.

God my head was pounding!

Eurgh before I do anything I need to find myself an aspirin or something, anything that can get rid of this headache!

I got to my feel. Crap why was the room spinning? It felt like I was on a boat in the middle of a stormy sea. I stumbled to my wardrobe, nearly falling into my dresser on the way there. I took my dress off and hung it up before pulling on a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt.

I made my way slowly down to the living room. It was a miracle that I managed to get down the stairs without falling.

I held my breath as I opened the living room door, fearful in case Danny would be there angry with me, or even worse ignoring me.

To my relief just Tom, Dougie and Harry were in there. Tom and Harry were playing on a football game while Dougie watched. Maybe Danny not being with them was a bad sign.

I walked into the kitchen and got an aspirin out of the cupboard and swallowed it with the help of some orange juice. I looked at the kitchen clock. Wow it was 1:45! Had I really slept in that late?

I didn't feel up to anything to eat so I went and sat with the guys in the living room.

"Hey dude" Dougie said absently as I sat down in-between him and Tom.

"Hi, why don't you have a hangover?" I yawned.

He shrugged "I dunno, I just don't get em"

Humph! Alright for some! I concentrated on the football game Harry and Tom were playing. Harrys team was winning, which was nothing new and as I watched they scored again. Tom groaned and dropped the control onto his lap. "Ok I give up" he huffed. Harry cheered.

"C'mon then Doug, you up for a round with the Juddster?" he grinned at Dougie.

Dougie pulled a face "you know I hate football" he moaned.

"Oh come on mate, just one match?" Harry pleaded. Dougie glared at him but I could tell he was trying not to smile. He picked up the control.

I glanced at the clock. It was now 2oclock, where was Danny? Was he genuinely still asleep or maybe hungover? Or did he just not want to see me? I wouldn't blame him if he didn't. I was a heartless bitch! I sighed deeply.

"You ok?" Tom asked me.

"Yeah I'm fine, just tired" Tom tutted at me, not like a granny would but in a friendly way. Then he put his arm around me.

My heart fell down to my toes and then back up again and butterflies erupted in my tummy. It was so nice to be this close to him. He smelt divine, of some sort of aftershave and shampoo. I put my head on his shoulder.

And then suddenly the living room door opened and Danny walked in. His eyes widened when he noticed how close me and Tom were together. Comprehension dawned on his face.

My heart dropped down to my toes again, but this time in an unpleasant way.

Danny looked like he understood.

Like he understood perfectly!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six – 

Danny's POV:

I lay in bed thinking. About the one thing that I had been thinking about for the last 6 years. Yep, you've got it in one. Delilah. Just thinking about her brought back the memories of last night, of how soft her lips were as they moved against mine, how she wrapped her arms around me; securing us together, like she never wanted to let me go. How she moaned slightly as I pulled her closer, minimising the space between us and how hungrily she kissed me, like she really wanted me. Yeah I should be so lucky!

I winced as the good memories were accompanied by the bad. She had pulled away from me, after kissing me for what ten minutes she had pulled away from me and announced that she didn't want me. That she couldn't return my feelings. Had basically ripped out my heart and stamped on it! What kind of a person does that?

But even so I couldn't stop feeling the heart wrenching hurt that I felt every time she entered my thoughts. At the moment she was entering , dancing around and completely swallowing my thoughts, so I think that you can get a pretty good idea how crap I feel!

I glanced at my clock, it was 1:45. I knew it was too late to stay in bed, but I couldn't face getting up. I couldn't face seeing _her. _Although I couldn't extinguish my feelings for her, I couldn't help but feel angry towards Delilah.

I knew that she would feel pity towards me. I didn't want that, I didn't want her to feel sorry for me. Like some sad idiot that no-one wanted. My stomach twisted and I had to clutch the bed sheets to stop myself from hitting something.

"I don't understand" I accidently said out loud.

I don't understand why she did it. It was unfair. Unfair and childish! I had a right mind to go and tell her that. I got up and was half way across the room to my door when I stopped in my tracks. I remembered her face when she pulled away from me. It was a face of guilt, pain and ... regret.

And then the truth hit me like a charging rhinoceros. It was all my fault! I'd been the one to make the first move. She hadn't led me on. I had kissed her and sure she had kissed me back but she was drunk. And I took advantage of that. It suddenly felt like I was the childish one.

Delilah was probably sitting downstairs worrying about me when nothing had been her fault. And here I was hiding in my room feeling sorry for myself! I looked at the clock again. It was now 2oclock. I should probably get my butt downstairs.

I pulled my jeans on, not bothering with a shirt and made my way downstairs. I really needed to talk to Delilah and to let her know that I wasn't angry or upset with her. I opened the living room and then stopped. Tom was sitting on the sofa next to Delilah. He had his arm around her and her head was on his shoulder. Bizarrely they almost looked like a couple.

And then for the second time the truth hit me. Hard.

I now realised why Delilah didn't like Cassie. It had been so obvious.

I suddenly understood.

I suddenly understood perfectly!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Delilah's POV:

"Alright Dan, you've slept in late" Tom said cheerily.

"Yeah. Headache" Danny replied jerkily, walking into the kitchen.

"Excuse me" I said to Tom, and followed him. I walked through the kitchen door, my heart thumping. Danny was leaning against the kitchen units and was staring out of the window in a world of his own. I couldn't help but notice that he was wearing just his jeans, no shirt. I could see the toned muscles of his chest, I'd never really noticed before but he really was quite fit looking, it was weird to think that not even twenty four hours ago I was kissing him! Danny jumped as I reached out and touched his arm. "Hey" I whispered "you ok?" He nodded "Yeah. I'm fine" he smiled though it didn't touch his eyes. "Listen Dan, I'm really sorry about what happened last night. I didn't mean to lead you on, it's just that I was so drunk and I didn't know what I was doing..." I trailed off, looking at the floor.

"Delilah, stop apologising, it's ok" he said gently.

I looked at him "You're not angry with me?"

"Of course not, it wasn't your fault everyone does things and says stupid things when their drunk. I did too"

"So...you don't have feelings for me? Is that what you're trying to say? I asked.

"No, I don't think so. It was just the drink talking I think" he grinned guiltily.

I breathed a sigh of relief "Well that's a load off my mind, I don't have to feel guilty anymore"

"No, you don't" Danny smiled, ruffling my hair.

I smiled back and hugged him hard, before making my way out of the room. Just as I walked through the door I heard Danny sigh. Must be his headache I thought as I walked up the stairs. I grinned to myself; suddenly feeling like a great weight had been lifted off me. Everything seemed back to normal now.

All I had to do was kill Cassie and everything would be perfect!


	8. Chapter 8

Heyyyy guys, I'm really really sorry that I haven't uploaded anything for this fic for such a long time. For ages I had just lost my motivation for this story and at first I wasn't going to finish it but I really hate the idea of leaving it only half done so it's kind of in pure stubbornness that I have been carrying it on xD Oh, and because of you lovely people that have been reading and commenting, I didn't want to let you all down. So here it is, it took a long time but I have finally got a chapter eight. Hope y'all like it and feel free to leave a review… they make my day :D

Much loves, Charl xxxxxxxxx

Chapter Eight – 

At around half eight Harry popped his head round my door.

"Hey! Me, Danny and Dougie were thinking about heading down the pub for a bit. You fancy coming?"

"After the other night? No thanks" I snorted turning back to my book. Just the very thought of alcohol was making me feel sick.

"You sure?" Harry grinned wickedly "maybe we can have some of those tequila shots you were so fond of the other night. You had about six didn't you?"

"Uuuurgh, shut up!" I moaned, chucking my book at him, my stomach churning.

He ducked, laughing, and left the room.

I sighed and got up to retrieve my book. And the something suddenly clicked. "Hang on" I called after Harry, who was only half way down the stairs "only you, Danny and Dougie? Why isn't Tom going?"

Harry carried on walking down the stairs and he replied "I dunno, he said he feels tired or something. He's holed up in his room watching 'Back to the Future' anyway."

I retreated back to my room and sat on my bed. Just the mere thought of me and Tom being alone in the house together made my heart thump and my palms break out in sweat. Then I told myself that I was being ridiculous. Tom has a girlfriend now, he loves her. Nothing is going to happen between us. Ever. And I have to just accept it and move on. Which was easier said than done! All of the drama with Danny earlier today had taken up so much of my thought space that I hadn't really paid much attention to Tom. Except for that one brief, magical moment where he out his arm around me… I can still remember his smell, the feeling of his soft t-shirt against my cheek and how I felt so safe, just for that one minute I felt so perfectly happy, like all was right in the world. Like a puzzle fitting its pieces together. Yeah that's how I feel, like my life is a puzzle, all parts of my being coming together to create something complete… me. Except my puzzle isn't quite finished, there's one piece, the most important one of all that's still missing. One piece that can only be filled by that one person.

Tom.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I allow myself to feel everything about him. I want to drown in him and never ever resurface again. I think of the way his dimple shows when he smiles, how his eyes light up when he's laughing, the way he bites his lip when he's thinking, how he talks to his cats like they are people, how he runs his hands though his hair when he is worried. I know everything about him, every detail. I know him more than I know myself. I feel every emotion run through me and as I do I feel warmth fill my chest. All I can feel is love. Beautiful, heart-breaking love. How can it be possible for one person to make someone feel so happy and so complete and yet make them feel like they are dying at the same time?

I breathe out again, gasping to bring air back into my lungs, and open my eyes. The warmth is gone and in its wake there is only heart crippling pain.

I have never felt so alone.

My room, the one place that was once my safe haven, now feels like a prison. Somewhere I have been banished to under solitary confinement. A person no one wants.

And the boy I love just on the other side of a wall. All there is between us is a foot of plaster and yet it feels like we are light years apart.

But maybe I don't have to be alone. It's not a crime after all to want to spent time with Tom is it? He is still my friend after all and it's not like he will tell me to go away. Maybe we can even watch 'Back to the Future' together? And if I'm going to be tortured anyway, by seeing him with another woman then what harm can spending time with him do? Yeah call me self-destructive if you want, but hell! I don't care!

I'm already on my feet and halfway out the door in my eagerness to see him. And just as I am about to knock on his bedroom door the bell for the front door rings.

Damn who can that be? It's probably one of the guys forgetting their phone or something. Though surely they would have a key?

But when I open the front door the person standing there is that last person I want to see. In fact I feel a lot like just slamming the door in her perfect face.

Yep you got it in one folks….. popped huisHk


End file.
